There’s a generation of American kids growing up today, learning a new generation of swear words, thanks to cable television censorship. I’m not debating the right-or-wrong issue of cable censorship, but the implications it may have for our future. I envision a future where words like “motherlover” and “forget you” will be as explosive as motherfucker and fuck you are today.

You see, when someone on a cable television station swears, you’ll find some badly dubbed-in words to mask the real swearing. Try watching a Die Hard movie next time it’s on a cable station.

The first time I heard Samuel L. Jackson say “motherlover” in a tinny voice compared to his normal voice, my gum flew out of my nose. I’ll repeat that, my gum flew out of my nose. There are certain things in life not meant to fly out of your nose, not even in a moment of derision, and gum is one of them. Or in another movie when a little kid said, “Hey man, forget you!” Oh man, that was a blast. Now cable television is fun to watch! See, there is a silver lining to censorship.