The roommate and I have been talking lately of moving, as we seem to be in a rut living out here in Interlachen, FL where we’re surrounded by rednecks and not much else. Growing up in a big city, I still haven’t grown used to living in a small town. Though we’re planning to move to another small town, it’s on the outskirts of Tampa, so we’ll at least be close to civilization.

I’m not too picky, but here are my criterias when I’m looking for a new house:

• Must have a dishwasher
• Fenced in yard
• Very nice big kitchen
• Top-of-the-line refridgerator
• Little to no insect problem
• Postage stamp-sized lawn
• Lots of natural sunlight filters in during the day
• Locks on all bedroom doors and solid walls
• Big garage/workshop for the man stuff
• Nice quiet neighborhood, with nice neighbors

Living out here taught me a lot of things, namely that loud rednecks screaming at kids and dogs is insanely annoying. Living by a single grocery store that hardly ever has real fresh tomatoes, among other vegetables, stymies my desire to cook often. A trailer converted into a house is still not as nice as a real house.

By the way, I don’t have anything against rednecks, if you are one. I’m just not into that lifestyle of beer, sports, and wearing wife-beater tanktops.